


Philly Cheesesteak

by daddyoshie



Series: He's My Partner [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2019-2020 NHL Season, Love Confessions, M/M, Realization of Feelings, Washington Capitals, guest starring carlson/kempny, involuntary trips to philadelphia, marcus johansson doesn't physically appear in this fic but he's there, memory loss due to drunkenness, mention of blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyoshie/pseuds/daddyoshie
Summary: Something was not right. It would’ve been one thing if they’d gotten onto the Beltway, but I-95 meant one thing: out of town.“Kuzy,” he ventured, “where exactly is this place you’re taking me for lunch?”Kuzy hesitated, but when the word came out, his voice was laced with impishness. “Philadelphia.”
Relationships: Marcus Johansson/Evgeny Kuznetsov, Matt Niskanen/Dmitry Orlov
Series: He's My Partner [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688689
Kudos: 10





	Philly Cheesesteak

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this awhile ago, it just took forever to get finalized and get it up.
> 
> Names explained: Victor refers to Victor Olofsson, Ilyusha is Ilya Samsonov, Stasik is Stan Galiev, and Jask is Dmitrij Jaskin. Additionally, google tells me that "Marochka" is the Russian diminutive for Mark, but like don't trust me on that I don't know any Russian at all.
> 
> Speaking of Russian, please pretend that Kuzy and Dima and speaking in Russian one talking to one another, and forgive me if the Russian speakers have better English than they should I'm bad at writing accents.
> 
> Additionally, this takes place in the fall of the 2019-20 season.
> 
> Big thanks to Alex for the beta and for always being supportive.

Watching John and Michal flirt relentlessly had always made him sick. But now, it also made him feel sad.

Whenever Dima saw them share a tender gaze, reach for each other during goal celebrations, slap each other on the ass, or tell each other to strip without any regard for the other people in the vicinity, his first reaction was to stick his tongue out and shout at them to get a room. However, that would inevitably be followed by a sharp pang of loneliness.

That could have been him. Well, not to _that_ extent, but it could have been him. He’d had a partner, just like John and Michal were partners. And Dima missed him, desperately.

More than was normal for missing a friend, it seemed.

Dima didn’t know exactly what had happened, but seeing Matt in person all those weeks ago had awoken something in him that had been lying dormant for who knows how long. He had hugged him and told him he missed him, and now he was thinking about what he smelled like and how scratchy his beard might be.

It had taken a while to admit it to himself, and he still wouldn’t admit it to anyone if they asked, but he knew that he held feelings for Matt. Exactly how strong they were was hard to tell, but he knew that Matt was in Philadelphia, so it was too late to do anything about those feelings even if he wanted to.

All he knew for sure was that he missed him like hell, and he really wished he were here again, even if nothing changed between them. He just wanted to play defense with him again. That would be enough for him.

Everything made him think about him. All the angry-looking animals he passed in the street, all the snippets he heard from old American movies. But nothing made him ache for Matt more than all his teammates acting all sweet on each other. There was John and Michal all but making out on the ice, as usual, and then there was Kuzy and Marcus. Marcus, like Matt, was also not here, but it felt like Kuzy was on the phone with him constantly. Dima felt like he was an unwilling audience member of far too many of these conversations, though he really wished he wasn’t.

One of the conversations in question happened on a bus ride from the airport to the team hotel. Dima was sitting in the window seat with Kuzy in the seat next to him when Marcus called, simultaneously lighting Kuzy up and making him forget that everyone else around him existed.

“I have decided I am keeping the beard,” Kuzy proudly announced to Marcus over the phone. “Because I _like_ it...well, I think it make me look sexy...no, it will not ‘scratch you in your sensitive areas’...trust me, I would know...well, you _very_ good at it.”

Suddenly Dima wished he had the ability to teleport. The last thing he needed was to hear the intimate details of Kuzy’s sex life.

Then Kuzy’s voice became softer, warmer. “I can’t wait to see you again...Christmas in Buffalo, that will be new...hey, I _said_ I was gonna make you eat Buffalo wings with me, you are not getting out of it...well, seeing you get a little sweaty is part of the fun.” His voice changed to a low murmur. “You know I love watching you get sweaty.”

Maybe Dima could just rip his ears off.

Kuzy continued. “Yes, I know the rookie staying with you...I promise not to traumatize him. Or mess with him. Victor would not be as fun to mess with anyway, no one can live up to Burky...yes, I will behave, I promise...Okay...Okay...I love you...I will see you soon, Marochka.”

As Kuzy hung up, Dima just stared at him. Those domestic conversations they were able to have with each other, the way Kuzy’s entire face changed when he was talking to him, the way they were able to say “I love you” like they had said it a billion times and meant it every time as sincerely as the first — Dima wanted something like that, so sincerely. Right now, though, hearing all that from Kuzy and realizing that he didn’t have that himself just made him feel even lonelier.

“What?” Kuzy asked when he caught him staring.

“Nothing,” Dima said, turning back towards the window.

Dima tried to push thoughts of Kuzy and Marcus from his mind, which was difficult given the fact that they were on the phone with each other a lot, and Kuzy talked about him endlessly. It quieted down for a few days, and Dima thought that maybe he’d have a moment of peace, until one day when he and Kuzy were hanging out together.

Kuzy cleared his throat, evidently to begin some kind of serious conversation. “So,” he started. “Jojo and I have been talking…” Lord, what could this _possibly_ be?

Dima immediately interrupted him with a quip. “About what, how he’s gonna get beard burn the next time you give him a blowjob?”

Kuzy blushed red for a brief moment, obviously embarrassed that an intimate conversation held in public had been remembered and brought back up again. “No, we were talking about you, actually.”

Him? Well, this clearly couldn’t be good. “What about me?”

“Well,” Kuzy paused, biting his lip as if some sort of indecision was holding him back. It didn’t go undecided for long, as about 0.5 seconds later he plowed forward with it. “Seeing as you didn’t do it last time you were there, we think you should go back to Philadelphia and kiss Nisky.”

Dima felt appalled, but somehow also like Kuzy had seen straight through him. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“You didn’t do it when you went to him a few weeks ago, and I really think you should have.”

“Do you not remember the ‘never speak of this again’ part of that? I can still break your nose.”

“Come on, Dima. I know you. Don’t pretend you haven’t been thinking about it.”

Dima had been thinking about it, actually. Quite a lot. But those were private thoughts for himself and himself alone, the kind that would never be admitted aloud to Kuzy. “I have not.”

“Don’t lie to me, Dima.” Kuzy grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “You like him. Just admit it to me. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

What a big fat lie from Kuzy and his big fat mouth. Anything he told Kuzy would go straight to Marcus. And then also to Ovi. Which would then go to Nicky. And then on to John. Who would tell Michal. And then it would get to Jakub, whose even bigger and fatter mouth would definitely tell the whole team, and it would be all over for him. No chance Dima was telling Kuzy anything if he could avoid it.

Dima crossed his arms. “I do not.”

Kuzy pouted his lip. “You are no fun. Come on, I _know_ you want to kiss his face.”

Dima just glared at him and said nothing.

Kuzy sighed dramatically. “ _Fine_ , just keep your feelings to yourself and don’t tell _me_ , your closest friend. Regardless, I am still going to heavily encourage you to go to Philly and make out with him. I think you need to. Romantic ventures to another city is worth it, Jojo and I can both personally vouch for it.”

Dima made a face and stuck out his tongue at Kuzy. He did not need to hear about Marcus and Kuzy’s romantic escapades; he had already seen too much PDA from them throughout his life. He used that as an excuse to get up and leave the conversation, not wanting to risk hearing any more about that.

And not wanting to risk having to divulge any of his own feelings.

However, all that conversation did was bring Matt to the forefront of his mind all the more. He wanted to go to him, he so desperately wanted to go to him and see him and maybe even say something to him, but he couldn’t. He was so close, yet so far. The fact that he was a mere few hours away yet still couldn’t be with him felt like the universe laughing in his face. 

Was it truly that he _couldn’t_ , or was it just...wouldn’t? Dima imagined what would happen if he did go, if he drove up the highway like a maniac, ran to his door, and told him that he liked him more than as a friend. Dima knew what would probably happen. Matt would let him down gently, because Matt was a nice guy (to Dima, at least), but their friendship? Gone. Dima wasn’t willing to risk all of that for the small chance Matt felt the same way back.

Dima found himself thinking about him, all the time, and he found himself even more lonely and mopey. But of course, the more Dima openly slouched and grumbled, the more Kuzy got on his case about acting upon his feelings. It was Dima’s nightmare.

Kuzy slid into the seat next to him one day after practice. “So when are you going to Philly to see Nisky?”

“Absolutely never, asshole,” he answered, shoving him away.

He called him up another evening. “Are you going to tell him about how you feel?”

“I have never felt anything for anyone ever,” Dima responded, angrily pressing the hang up button.

He even had the audacity to bother him _during_ practice. “Go to him and make out with him, just a little. Just do it. You may even stop being sad about him.”

Dima thwacked him with his stick. “Not in a million years.”

But then he looked across the ice, saw John reach a hand for Michal’s cheek, and was hit by a sudden wave of aching sadness.

Fortunately for Dima, Kuzy’s attempts to bother him slowed down over the next week or so. _Un_ fortunately for him, that aching sadness did not go away. The pain of wanting Matt was stronger than ever, and Dima knew those feelings were evident in everything he did. He found himself sighing a lot, like some kind of loser, staring out the window, and sometimes not even hearing when teammates had been talking to him. He had gone off the deep end. Dima would have been completely embarrassed and disgusted with himself if missing Matt hadn’t overtaken just about every part of him.

He and Kuzy were hanging out at Kuzy’s house one off day, just sitting around and watching something on the TV. Dima was staring off to the side, thinking about the one time he and Matt had come close to both murdering Andre, and he didn’t even realize Kuzy had been talking to him until he shouted his name almost in his face.

“DIMA? Are you listening?” Kuzy demanded.

“What?” Dima asked, snapping out of it. “No, you are boring.”

Kuzy placed a hand over his chest in fake hurt. “Ow, hurtful.” Then he cocked his head, considering something. “What were you even thinking about?”

Dima felt his cheeks warm, just a tad. He hoped Kuzy wouldn’t notice. “Nothing.”

A smile found its way onto Kuzy’s face, and for a second, Dima was terrified that Kuzy was going to pry or bring up the topic of Matt again. But thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he went to a different topic.

“Hey, let me take you to lunch tomorrow,” Kuzy suggested. “My treat, it’ll be fun.”

Dima hesitated. He kind of wanted to just stay home and eat all the leftovers in his fridge, but Kuzy’s offer to pay made it very tempting. “Hm, I’m not sure…”

Kuzy groaned. “Come on, don’t be like that. You’ve been so mopey lately, this will help cheer you up. Please, come to lunch with me.”

Well...Dima couldn’t really argue with that. He _had_ been mopey — which had definitely been partly Kuzy’s fault with all those lovey-dovey phone calls, not that Kuzy would ever admit to that — and having a little social time probably wouldn’t hurt. It was just one lunch, just a few hours with just Kuzy, what could possibly happen?

“One condition,” Dima said. “You can’t call Jojo while we’re out.”

“I would never,” Kuzy said, incredulous. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

Dima, remembering the many, many meals Kuzy had done this exact thing during, strapped Kuzy with a judgmental look.

“Okay, okay,” Kuzy gave in. “No calling him, I promise. I won’t even talk about him. Just us. Okay?”

It sounded real nice, actually. Dima found he could use a little distraction. “Okay.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, around noon.”

“Do you have a place in mind?”

Kuzy’s lips curled into a smile. “I heard of some new place, I forgot the name right now, Osh said it was amazing, had to try it. Steak place, I think. It’ll be great, I’m sure. Guess we’ll see tomorrow.”

That felt a little bit vague, but that wasn’t exactly unusual for Kuzy. He remembered what he chose to remember. Dima guessed he would just have to trust the judgment of Kuzy and T.J. and hope that this place lived up to the hype.

Dima figured that digging into a big steak would be as good a thing as any to distract him from thinking about Matt.

* * *

Kuzy kept his word, pulling up to Dima’s house exactly when he said he would, loudly honking the horn until Dima trudged his way outside and got into the passenger seat. Kuzy got back onto the road and started chattering to Dima, but Dima wasn’t listening. He was slumped in his seat and his thoughts were wandering, not really paying that much attention to where they were going. This was meant to distract him, to push Matt out of his mind while he spent some quality time with a cherished friend, but it wasn’t working yet. Instead, his thoughts were lingering on how Matt would have loved to go to a steak place for lunch. Not only would he have enjoyed it, but he also would have critiqued it _and_ insisted he could have shot and cooked his own steak from the woods of Minnesota, and it would have been twice as good. And then Dima would have argued that there were no cows in the woods of Minnesota so how could you possibly get a better steak, and no deer was _not_ the same thing, how dare you even suggest such a thing, it doesn’t matter how you season it. And then Matt would let Dima win the argument, because that’s what Matt always did, probably because he knew Dima loved to win.

Dima’s chest tightened, knowing those days were behind him.

Dima momentarily brought himself back to the present, watching the buildings pass by out the window. It came to him that they had been in the car for awhile, but he figured that this place must have been on the far side of DC, or maybe even in _Maryland_ , geesh, which wouldn’t have been completely out of the question; if it was that good, the guys were willing to go that far to the outer reaches of the DMV. Dima rested his head against the window and let his thoughts start to wander again.

He didn’t realize anything was amiss until they got onto I-95.

He sat up straight in his seat, the alarms blaring in his head. Something was _not_ right. It would’ve been one thing if they’d gotten onto the Beltway, that would mean they still were headed somewhere in the DMV area. But I-95 meant one thing: out of town.

“Kuzy,” he ventured, “where exactly is this place you’re taking me for lunch?”

Kuzy hesitated, but when the word came out, his voice was laced with impishness. “Philadelphia.”

Dima’s stomach dropped as he realized exactly what was happening. He thought back to all of Kuzy’s comments over the past couple of weeks: all the complaints about Dima being mopey and lonely, the insinuations about Dima’s feelings, and his insistence that he should act upon them. Dima had refused to take any sort of action, but apparently Kuzy had decided to take matters into his own hands because here they were, on their way to Philadelphia, undoubtedly destined straight for Matt.

“No.” Dima started shaking his head. “No, no, no. I am not doing this.”

“Too late,” Kuzy said. “You know exactly what needs to happen, so you’re going to go and do it.”

“ _No_ ,” Dima repeated, this time with anger in his voice. “You can’t make me do it.”

“ _Well_ , you are _already_ in the car, so…”

“You are kidnapping me,” Dima stated flatly. “This is against my will.”

Kuzy brushed him off with a wave of his hand. “This is not kidnapping, not really. You got into this car willingly.”

“I did not agree to go to _Philadelphia_.”

“It’s not that far.”

Dima decided that he absolutely did not want to do this. “Let me out,” he demanded. “Stop the car, let me out. I can walk back from here.”

Kuzy shook his head. “Nope, I am not letting you out. You are not getting out of this.”

“What, you gonna keep me trapped in here?”

“That was the plan.”

Dima huffed and sat back angrily in his seat, realizing he couldn’t force Kuzy to stop or break out of the car without causing bodily harm to one or both of them. “Are we at least going to stop for lunch first?” he asked. “I _was_ expecting a steak lunch.”

“Nope, this baby’s not stopping until we get to Philly,” Kuzy said. “Can’t have you getting out and running away.”

“What if I get hungry?” He was, indeed, hungry — he had been preparing for steak, after all.

“I packed snacks.” Kuzy jerked a thumb to the back seat, which was filled with grocery bags full of snacks — gas station snacks, it looked like — and water bottles that Dima hadn’t noticed when he’d gotten in.

“What if I need to go to the bathroom?” Dima asked. “I know you don’t want piss in your car.”

“I have empty water bottles back there,” Kuzy said. “Or you could drink the full ones and then use those.” He looked Dima in the eye. “We are not stopping. May as well accept it.”

Dima sharply turned towards the window. “Well, I’m not going to talk to you the entire time,” he grumbled.

Kuzy laughed. “Okay, sure. Then I guess I’m just going to have to talk _at_ you the entire time, see how you like that.”

Dima almost immediately regretted his decision, but, like the stubborn ass that he was, stayed silent for the time being. Kuzy, to his credit, let him stew in his silence for about five minutes or so. But after that, the chatterbox started to run. And he seemed to have no intention of slowing down unless he was stopped.

“I watched the Family Feud last night,” Kuzy began. Dima groaned. This would be a long one. “The two families involved — both very stupid. I kept shouting answers that were much better than theirs, but did they listen to me? No. Did they win? No. Idiots.”

Dima was pretty sure Kuzy would not do nearly as well as he thought he would if he ever actually did go on Family Feud.

“Then I started to wonder, could we, the Caps Russians, go on the Family Feud? Of course we could! We are a family. There are five on a team, so it could be you and me and Ovi — he is the captain, obviously — and Ilyusha, and the only question is, who is the fifth? Do we get a former teammate? Can we recruit Sasha Semin or Stasik? Or Jask? Does he count, since he’s half-Czech? Or should we just get someone else who is currently on the team and not Russian? In the past I would have said V, but now the Czechs and Slovaks are too powerful, there are too many of them. Oh! I know! We are totally stealing Siegs. He would fit in well. We can convince Ilyusha to get him to come over to our side.”

Dima wondered if there was something in here he could shove in his ears.

“Now, our opponent, that’s easy,” Kuzy went on confidently. “The Swedes. It’s always been a friendly rivalry between us, and Ovi wants nothing more than to face Backy. And lucky for them, they are nice and neat with their team, combine with current and former teammates — Backy, Hags, Djoos, and then go and get Burky and then Jojo. Did I pick them because I want to face off against Jojo? Maybe. Doesn’t matter, it would be the Family Feud for the ages.”

He went on a little bit longer (a lot longer, actually), detailing how T.J. would host this imaginary episode of Family Feud, what exact questions would be asked, how close it would get, and who would win (Russia, of course). He seemed to have put a lot of thought into this. But Dima started to tune him out. He didn’t want to listen to him anymore, especially if he was going to keep talking about something so asinine. He was already kidnapped, listening closely to this garbage would just make it worse.

Luckily, Kuzy got to the end of his make-believe and finally began to wind down. For a blissful moment, there was glorious silence. But only for a moment. Kuzy spoke up again, this time much more serious.

“Look, I know you’re mad at me, but I think you need to do this,” Kuzy said. “I think your feelings for him are a lot stronger than you’re letting on. You say you guys are just good friends, but come on, Dima, I know better. I know you like him, a lot. Maybe you’re even in love with him, I don’t know, even _I_ can’t look that deep into your soul.”

Dima bristled but said nothing. He hated that other people could just sense his innermost feelings like that...even if they were true.

“But do you know what frustrates me the most?” Kuzy continued, taking a second to throw a harsh glare in Dima’s direction. “The fact that you _refuse_ to _do_ anything about it! Where’s the logic here? You could be so happy, you know, if you just got over yourself. You could have even done this years ago, when he was still here, if either of you had had the brains or the balls. You see Carly and Kemps? You could be like that.” Kuzy paused for a moment. “Well, not _exactly_ like that, you would _never_ be that sweet in public. But still, you could have had that. That’s what happens when you actually say something to the other person. Carly went for it and he hasn’t looked back since. And neither have I. Sucking it up and finally telling Jojo how I felt was the best decision I have ever made. And I would never, ever go back.”

Dima looked at the expression on Kuzy’s face, the one full of warmth, happiness, nostalgia, and just a little tinge of sadness. Dima had heard this story before, of course. He had been there to watch that relationship start and blossom. He knew how bananas Kuzy had always been for Marcus, and still was. He also knew how crushed he had been when Marcus had been traded away and how difficult it was not to be able to see him every day anymore. And yet, they were still as in love as ever. They were making it work, as far as Dima knew.

He could see all those feelings reflected in Kuzy’s eyes, all that passion and love and happiness. But what stuck out to him most right now was the hurt he could see. Would he take any of it back? If he had known about the hardships they were going to endure, would he take back even a little bit just to save both of them even a little bit of that suffering? Dima was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he knew he had to ask anyway. The acknowledgment of Kuzy’s roller coaster of a relationship and his vulnerability in bringing up all that pain and difficulty he had endured was what prompted Dima to finally speak back to him.

“Not even after all that pain that came after?” he asked.

Kuzy smiled, small and wistful. “Never,” he said. “All the trades, the separation, being forced to win a Cup without him — all that pain was worth it for getting to love him, and for him loving me back.”

“It has to suck, being separated from him.”

Kuzy nodded in acknowledgement. “Yeah, it sucks ass. It’s very hard. But we make it work. When it’s for your favorite person in the whole world, it’s worth it. And it will be worth it for _you_ , too.”

Dima groaned. “Dammit, I thought we had successfully turned this conversation away from me.”

Kuzy chuckled. “As _if_. This entire trip is for you, my friend. I don’t even know how we got turned around on me for that long. Anyway, the point is, it won’t be easy, but it’s not too late.”

Dima furrowed his brow. “Too late for what?”

“To get your man, stupid!” Dima felt himself flush red as his face twisted into some horrible amalgamation of horror and embarrassment. Kuzy laughed at his expression. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I _know_ you want to kiss his face. You’re just mad at yourself that you didn’t realize it earlier.”

This was true, but Dima would _never_ admit that to him.

“I think you really need to just kiss him. Just once. You need to get...well, not _closure_ , but you need to take that next step. See what happens, what it could lead to.”

Dima hesitated. Sure, Kuzy made that sound all easy, but when Dima thought about actually doing it, a looming feeling of fear began gnawing at his gut. He swallowed. “What if he doesn’t reciprocate?”

“Well, you’re not on the same team anymore,” Kuzy said apologetically. Dima winced, the reminder still painful. Kuzy soldiered on. “You don’t really see each other anymore, and you don’t have to keep up that friendship if you don’t want to. And yes, this could possibly ruin whatever’s left of that friendship. But it could also give you so much more and make you incredibly happy; you just don’t know. And you’re gonna hate yourself for the rest of your life if you don’t do it. If you don’t take that chance, if you don’t know for sure, you’ll be left wondering _what if_ for the rest of your life, and it’s going to eat you alive.”

In all honesty, Dima was pretty sure he was already feeling like he was being eaten alive. He wanted this, so very badly, but he really, really did not want to lose that friendship. His relationship with Matt, at whatever form it was in, was too important to him. He couldn’t lose him for good. But at the same time, Kuzy made some very, very good points. Maybe it _was_ worth taking that risk.

“And by the way,” Kuzy continued, “I know I’ve talked a lot about not being sure, but I’m pretty sure. Going off of what I’ve seen, I feel pretty confident saying I think things are going to work out just fine.”

Dima felt his heart rate start to pick up. “What do you mean?”

Kuzy smiled, just a little. “I know what I’ve seen. Just trust me. It’s going to be okay.”

That was frustratingly vague, but for once, Dima was just going to take Kuzy’s word for it. He took a deep breath, letting them both rest for a moment. This looked like it was happening, apparently. Dima made no promises to go for a dramatic kiss on the doorstep, but he’d at least...talk with him. About...something. It would be fantastic to see him again, at the very least. Maybe this idea of his hadn’t been the worst idea in the world after all.

No, not _his_ ; _theirs_. Kuzy had been talking about him with Marcus, this had been their idea to start. What exactly had they been talking about that led them to this point?

“Why were you guys talking about me?” he asked.

“Pardon?” Kuzy asked in confusion.

“You and Jojo,” Dima clarified. “A week or two ago, you said that you two had been ‘talking’ and thought I should...you know, do _this_ ,” he made a little bit of a face. “Why were you talking about me?”

“Because I was worried about you, Snarls,” Kuzy responded. “Jojo and I, we talk about everything. And I mean _everything_. I know far too much about Jack Eichel.” This time, it was Kuzy who pulled a face, but he quickly recovered. “So, of course I talk about you, he cares about you, too. I told him about how dreary you’ve been since we went to see Nisky, how mopey you are and how every time you look at Carly and Kemps you look like someone punched you in the gut.”

Everytime Dima thought he was being sneaky about his own feelings, there seemed to be a moment like this that revealed to him that sometimes his feelings were as obvious as everyone else’s.

“Now, Jojo is not so observant when it comes to people being interested in _him_ , the sweet dumbass, but he has done his fair share of observing teammates over the years.” He took a pointed look at Dima. “He knows how you feel about Nisky. He’s seen how you look at him, and he says he knows for sure because you have never once threatened to kill him.”

Dima knew that any chance he had of putting up a protest or denying it was gone with that one statement. Dammit. Matt was just truly better and more pleasant to be around than everyone else.

“So I told him you were lonely and that you missed him. He said that you need to act on your feelings. He knows how lonely it is not to be with the person you love. He also said that life sucked before I kissed him for the first time, that a whole new world opened up after that happened,” Kuzy said with a smile to himself.

“Yeah I’m sure he said exactly that,” Dima grumbled.

“Just don’t call him and ask him to repeat it word for word,” Kuzy said with a wink. “Anyway, I said I thought you needed to go to Philly yourself and make out with him, and he said that was a great idea. Because he is a wonderful boyfriend who thinks all of my ideas are amazing and I love him so much.”

Dima wanted to vomit. “I regret asking anything.”

“Oh, come on, Dima,” Kuzy said, his voice softening. “I’ll tell you what. You do this, and I’ll never bother you about this subject again.”

Dima glared at Kuzy, his eyes narrowed in skepticism. Like that would ever happen.

Kuzy didn’t appear to believe himself, either. “Okay, two weeks. That’s the best I can do.”

Dima sighed. Despite this all being incredibly mortifying and making Dima kind of want to kill him, Kuzy did have good intentions at heart. All he wanted was for him to be happy, and in the end, Dima couldn’t really be mad about that.

“Just don’t kidnap me again,” Dima conceded. “I don’t want to have to call the police on you. Or call Nicky on you.”

“Alright, fine.” Kuzy settled in with a smug grin on his face, feeling like he had won.

Dima sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. “You still never got me any lunch,” he grumbled under his breath.

Kuzy smiled real wide. “We can get you a cheesesteak when we’re in Philly. _After_ you’ve kissed Nisky.”

Dima scoffed and sat back deeper in his chair, but the sudden recall of Matt promising him a cheesesteak next time he was in town made his heart start to ache.

And then, before he knew it, they had pulled up onto Matt’s driveway, the exact same one they had pulled up to all those nights ago. All those feelings came rushing back with a sharp bang in his heart, and all those things unspoken were suddenly sitting heavy in his chest once more. It had been nighttime then, so everything had felt a little obscured, ethereal, fleeting, almost like everything they had said and done wouldn’t be able to catch up with them in reality. Now it was the bright light of daytime, and everything felt too real.

Kuzy shut off the engine and looked at Dima. “Alright, get out of the car.”

“No.”

Kuzy huffed. “Okay, I warned you.”

Abruptly, Kuzy took his arm and yanked him out of the car, then he physically dragged him all the way to Matt’s front door. Dima wanted to put up a fight, but he found that his arms and legs just wouldn’t cooperate with him, so he just let it happen. Once at the doorstep, Dima just stood there, rooted to the spot.

Kuzy looked at him expectantly. “Well? Are you going to ring the doorbell?”

Dima just stood there.

Kuzy sighed dramatically. “I really have to do everything myself around here, don’t I?”

He stepped up and pressed the doorbell, a pleasant chiming resounding through the house within. Dima suddenly felt his heart banging in his chest. In just a matter of seconds, he was really about to see him again, and how would he react to seeing him again at his doorstep? Dima found himself equal parts thrilled and horrified, and the deafening beating of his heart was so loud in his ears that he didn’t hear Matt approach from inside until he opened the front door.

And then there he was. Objectively, he looked awful. He was dressed like a slob, he was a mess, and he must have gotten hit by either a puck or a fist in a recent game because his face was all kinds of messed up. To a regular person, this shouldn’t have been a face anyone would be excited to see. But when he opened that door, the world suddenly seemed a whole lot brighter to Dima.

To his great delight, Matt didn’t even look upset to see him. In fact, he actually looked pleased. Surprised, of course, but also, dare he say, happy. His lip curled upward into a smile, which seemed to shine bright directly at Dima.

“Well, I can’t say I was expecting this to become a regular thing, Snarls,” Matt said warmly. “Do I need to show up at your door in DC to return the favor?”

It was there, standing on Matt’s front doorstep, that Dima finally understood what it was like to look at someone through heart eyes. He had seen it on other people, of course; he had watched his lovestruck teammates gaze adoringly at each other more than enough times. He had always wondered how they could let themselves look like that much of an idiot, but he understood it himself now. Looking at Matt, in his sweatpants and stained t-shirt and with his beard in desperate need of a trim and his face looking like someone had recently bashed it into a wall, there was no reason Dima should find any pleasure in his current appearance. And yet he could feel a bubbling sensation arise in his gut and a warmth spread throughout his entire body. He felt possessive of him, like he wanted to latch onto him and never let him leave his side. He looked like hell, yet all Dima could think was that he was absolutely perfect. Dima knew he looked absolutely stupid as he stared, and a small part of him hated himself for it, but the majority of him did not care one bit.

There was only one feeling this could be. 

Dima tried to open his mouth to form a response, but no words came out. He felt like a fish out of water, unable to move or communicate or really do anything other than gape. Luckily, Kuzy was always willing and able to talk, and he swooped right in.

“No need, but I am sure a surprise is always welcome,” Kuzy spoke up for him, suggestion heavy in his voice.

Matt quickly turned his head towards Kuzy, eyes wide, as if seeing him for the first time. “Oh, hi, Kuz, I didn’t see you there.”

Kuzy smirked, as if that comment only fueled his fire. “Is okay. I not the one here to see you anyway.”

“Oh?” Matt asked, curious. “Well, then, why _are_ you guys here?”

“Dima have unfinished business with you,” Kuzy announced.

Matt furrowed his brow. “Business? What business?”

“Something he forgot to do last time he here at your door.”

Matt just looked at him in confusion.

Kuzy turned toward Dima. “Do you want to tell him?”

Dima, unable to form words, just silently opened and closed his mouth like an idiot.

Kuzy broke into an excited grin. “Fine, then _I_ will!” He turned back towards Matt, cracked his knuckles, and then launched into an incredibly Kuzy-fied version of everything that had happened over the last few weeks.

“Let us start back when we came to you a few weeks ago,” Kuzy began with a twinkle in his eye. “So we were in hotel in Philly. It is the middle of the night. Then Dima come banging on my door like a madman. He _has_ to see you, he just _has_ to, he can’t _bear_ it. So we go, and obviously you know what happened, you were there. When he get back in the car, he tell me not to speak of this again or he will break my nose. Obviously, not a man of his word, as my nose is still beautiful and in one piece.”

Dima briefly considered following through on his promise right this second.

“So then we go back home, but ever since we see you, he been missing you _so_ much. Is heartache, Nisky. He mope around, and he _sighing_ , _all_ the time. He just look like a sad dog. And whenever he see Carly and Kemps being too much, instead of looking disgusted, he look _jealous_. Like, a sad jealous. And me, I know exactly what is the problem. He lonely, and he miss _you_. So I tell him he need to go find you and tell you how he feels and kiss you, like he wanted to do but did not the last time we were here. But he just yell at me and say no. I keep telling him to do this, but he keep saying no, and he keep getting more sad. So I realize it is up to me to do this, because he is stubborn ass. So I take Dima to Philly myself, and I bring him to you. Now it his turn to tell you how much he likes you and then make out a little.” He got behind Dima and gave him a big push, making Dima stumble a couple steps towards Matt. “NOW KISS!”

Dima was absolutely mortified. He couldn’t deny the fact that he had feelings anymore, and Kuzy had made sure that was plain and clear. Everything was out on the table, and Dima felt so incredibly vulnerable. He felt his cheeks flush as he looked at Matt. Oh god, how was he going to react? What was he going to say?

His heart pounded in his chest, the seconds before Matt’s response taking what felt like years. When Matt finally said something, he held in his breath, waiting for his world to be lifted up or knocked down.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that you felt that way.”

Dima deflated, feeling all the wind leave him. He could almost feel his heart start to crack. Of course he said that. He knew this would happen. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up even the slightest. He felt something hot and upset percolating inside his chest, making his throat tighten up. God, he felt so embarrassed and sad and angry and — 

“‘Cause you didn’t say anything else after you kissed me the first time.”

Everything stopped dead in its tracks. Dima felt like he had been hit in the face by a truck, and he was pretty sure his brain was short-circuiting. _What_ had Matt just said?

Kuzy abruptly broke the silence. “When he WHAT?” he shouted.

“When I WHAT?” Dima shouted.

Matt looked a little disheartened. “Oh, do you...not remember?”

Dima could feel the onset of panic. “No, I do not, what happened?”

Matt glanced down at the ground. “Must not have been important to you if you don’t remember,” he said under his breath.

Dima’s heart broke hearing that in his voice, so he slipped into full-blown panic and tried to backtrack and recover. “No no no, not like that. I would absolutely remember something like that, it is not something that would just slip my mind, so why do I not fucking _remember_ , oh god…”

“Was he drunk?” Kuzy loudly butted in.

Matt nodded. “Yes, very.”

Suddenly, Kuzy seemed to have an epiphany. “Dima’s a blackout drunk!” he exclaimed. He grasped Dima’s shoulder, his exuberance bubbling over. “He can hold his alcohol well, but when he passes the limit and gets blackout drunk, he doesn’t remember a thing.”

Dima didn’t get blackout drunk very often, only when something really big or exciting happened. When was the last time he’d gotten blackout drunk, and when could he have possibly done it when Matt was around? Normally it happened when he was in Russia. He racked his brain for a moment. Wait. Oh god, could it have been…

“When was this?” Dima asked.

Matt confirmed his suspicions. “In Vegas, right after we won the Cup.”

Dima’s memories of the days — maybe even weeks — immediately following the Cup win were blurry at best, and all he knew was that he’d had the most fun of his life. Apparently even more fun than he’d thought. “What happened?”

“Spare no details, please,” Kuzy piped in with a smile.

Dima shot him a glare.

Matt grimaced, probably a tad bit uncomfortable at the prospect of recounting the whole thing, like Dima would have been. But then he caught the look of pleading in Dima’s eyes, desperate to know, and he straightened up, cleared his throat, and soldiered on.

“Well, it was in that one club in Vegas, I don’t remember the name, I think Tiesto was there? I remember we were all there at that point still. I was kind of off by the side, I was pretty tuckered out by that point, I was considering grabbing Beags and going somewhere more quiet. And then Snarls came over to me, he had a beer in hand, he was wearing some dumbass hat on his head — a bowler or a fedora or something, I don’t remember — that he definitely stole from someone, and he just stunk to the heavens like alcohol, but then again we all did. Then he yelled at me that I needed to dance, and he...started dancing.”

“Was it classic drunk Dima dancing?” Kuzy asked. “You know how he danced with Ovi’s mama.”

“Uh.” A blush crept onto Matt’s cheeks. “What he did with Ovi’s mother was tame compared to what he did with me.”

Kuzy’s eyes just about boggled out of his head, and Dima’s soul wanted to leave his body. Dear lord, what had he _done_?

“ _Please_ tell me more,” Kuzy pressed.

“Well,” Matt hesitated. “I don’t want to get _too_ explicit, ‘cause you _were_ getting a little spicy there, Snarls.”

Dima appreciated Matt wanting to help him save face. Kuzy, however, did not.

“I did not come all this way for censorship, Nisky. Give me all the dirty details.”

Matt sighed. He knew as well as everyone else who had ever been a teammate of Kuzy’s how persistent and annoying he was.

“Well, he grabbed around me with his free hand, and just let loose. And...well, let’s just say I learned what grinding was that day.”

Dear lord, clearly his body had been ahead of his brain in the whole “having feelings for Matt” department if he’d decided to get that down and dirty with him. Dima suspected that there was even more Matt was holding back, which just made it all the worse. Dima had truly been an awful horny drunk bastard, hadn’t he?

Matt continued. “That happened for awhile, and it surprised me at first, but I actually...got quite into it. I’m not afraid to admit that. And then you looked at me, Snarls, and your words were incredibly slurred, and you said, ‘We are champs of the world, baby!’ And then you leaned in and…” Matt trailed off for a moment, the blush creeping further onto his face. “Well, that’s when you kissed me.”

 _When you kissed me_. A monumental thing that Dima had initiated that he did not remember in the slightest. The thing he had been psyching himself up to maybe get the balls to do that he had actually done over a year and a half ago. Beaten to it by a braver, drunker version of himself. He wished he remembered. All he had to go on was what Matt was willing to share with him.

“What kind of kiss was it?” Kuzy asked. “Like a short, quick one? Or like,” Kuzy waggled his eyebrows, “a big one?”

Matt’s blush turned from pink to deep red. “Well, Snarls is certainly not shy when he gets drunk, so I’m gonna go with ‘big one.’ Pretty heavy on the tongue there. A little longer than I’d expected, but...I wasn’t gonna complain.” The corner of Matt’s lip turned upwards, as if he was remembering something fondly. “You tasted like shitty alcohol.”

Dima so desperately wished he had this memory, especially if Matt held it as fondly as he seemed to. He wanted to be there, he wanted to remember this ugly, sloppy, wonderful kiss that the two of them had shared, even if the thought of him doing it kind of embarrassed him. If he had remembered, then maybe things would have been different.

“You told me I tasted like sweat, and you said ‘We should do this again sometime.’ And then I guess your attention was drawn elsewhere, ‘cause you scurried off in a huff to the other end of the room.” Matt’s expression suddenly turned a little sour. “And then you never mentioned it again, you never talked to me afterwards about any sort of feelings you did or didn’t have; you just acted like it never happened.”

Dima was absolutely horrified at himself for not remembering and for unintentionally making Matt feel left out to dry. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Matt threw his hands into the air. “I thought you remembered! I just thought it meant...that it didn’t mean anything to you. I thought maybe you were embarrassed and you wanted to have a ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ and move on.”

Dima slowly shook his head, all the emotions roiling within him threatening to make his eyes tear up. “No. Never.” He swallowed, trying to work up the nerve to say what he truly wanted to say. “And if I did all that while I was drunk...I think that says how I feel just as good as words.”

Kuzy leaned in and fake-whispered. “I think you should say it with words, too.” Dima glared daggers at him. Kuzy threw his hands up. “Just for clarification! Don’t want any more confusion like that.”

Dima realized that if he was going to have any chance at getting what he wanted, he was going to have to talk out loud with his words, something that he did not like to do even when he was at his most comfortable. But he needed to do this. This is what he wanted. He took a deep breath.

“I like you. A lot,” he said plainly. “Have never had anyone in my life I enjoyed being around like you. No one else quite gets me. Everyone else annoying. And somehow, you never annoying.” Dima found himself smiling. “Take me awhile to realize, but the feelings are very strong. And, I would like...more, if you want.” His cheeks started to burn. “And I hate talk like this, so I am going to shut up and if you make me talk more I will break your arm.”

There it was, all out on the table, for real. Dima felt as vulnerable as he had ever been, like a single gust of wind could knock him over and shatter him. He just hoped that Matt’s response wouldn’t crush him.

Luckily, it didn’t. “You have no idea how good that is to hear after all that time, Snarls,” Matt said with a smile. “I’ve been waiting since Vegas, hoping you would say that.”

Dima’s heart fluttered so much he was sure it was going to fly out of his chest. Matt hadn’t stomped on all his hopes and dreams, which was a good sign. But he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure. He wasn’t going to give into ecstasy until he knew for good.

With a bit of nerves in his voice, he said, “Well, still do not know how exactly _you_ feel.”

And then Matt just looked at him, with a gaze that contained all the softness and fondness in the world. “There’s a reason I’d pick you to come to a desert island with me, Snarls.”

Dima felt his heart start to pound wildly as the meaning of the words started to sink in. He held his breath in anticipation as Matt said things that threatened to turn his world upside-down.

“‘Cause you’re the only person I’d want to be all alone with, whether that be in the back of a club or stranded in the ocean. While I’m confident that you’d have good survival skills and that we also wouldn’t want to kill each other, I say it simply because there’s never been anyone but you, Snarls. You’re my partner.”

He wasn’t explicit with his words, necessarily, but he didn’t need to be. Dima knew exactly what he meant. He never should have worried, not for one second. This was his person; this was his partner. He felt himself overcome with a whirlwind of emotions that threatened to spill through every pore, and, not knowing how else to react, not knowing how else to contain himself, he leaned in and kissed him, throwing his arms around the back of his neck. It was like the entire world lit up; it just felt right. And this time, he would _definitely_ remember this one.

And he couldn’t help but notice that yes, Matt’s beard was just a little bit scratchy. But he liked it.

Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by Kuzy’s wolf-whistle.

“ _Yes_ , get it, Dima!” he cheered. “Aw, this makes me so happy to see after so long. Don’t mind me, pretend I am not here. Make it even more sexy if you want.”

“I _will_ kill you,” both Dima and Matt snapped at him at the same time.

This just delighted Kuzy all the more. “Oh, now that’s cute.”

Dima growled in his direction. But, surprisingly, Dima found that he did not actually want to kill him. His attention was drawn squarely to Matt, smiling in front of him, so he just tried to ignore all the stupid faces Kuzy was making and look at Matt’s beautiful broken face.

“Well, I’d say we need to have a bit of an in-depth conversation,” Matt said with a twinkle in his eye.

“When Kuzya not here,” Dima remarked.

“Hey!” Kuzy protested. “I brought you together, I deserve some respect!”

“Shut up before I break your nose!” Dima shouted at him.

Matt laughed, which made Dima’s stomach flutter. He was going to have to get used to this feeling.

“Well, since you’re already here in town, do you want to go and have lunch with me? We can talk proper, just the two of us,” Matt said with a warm smile. “Kuzy can chill in my house until we’re back.”

Was this a date? Dima was pretty sure this was the first official date. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, I _am_ hungry. Kuzya _said_ he was gonna buy me lunch but never did, the lying bastard.”

“Hey, I said I would get you something _after_ you made out with him!”

“Well, it’s whatever you want,” Matt said.

Suddenly, Dima remembered a promise, one that Matt made to him right on this very doorstep. “You owe me a Philly cheesesteak,” he said. “One from Pat’s, just like you said.”

Matt raised his eyebrow in amusement. “Didn’t I say I was gonna bring _all_ of you to Pat’s?”

“Well, now it is just for me,” Dima insisted. “You promised.”

Matt smiled, crinkling the crows feet at the corner of his eyes. “It would be my pleasure.”

Matt’s hand slid down Dima’s back and started leading Dima towards his car. They were going now? Fuck it, they had already waited this long, why wait a second longer?

“Can I come?” Kuzy asked.

“Fuck off, Kuzya,” Dima snapped.

Kuzy grumbled something under his breath about Dima being ungrateful, but Dima could no longer hear him. As he slid into the passenger seat of Matt’s car, he thought about how stupid he was for not doing this sooner and how incredibly overjoyed he was to be with him here right now.

Kuzy had been right. He could have happiness too. And Philly, in the grand scheme of things, was not that far away at all.

They might not be teammates anymore, but they would always be partners.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @daddyoshie


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